Inner Compass – Shalini Sareen – Life & Executive Coach


They say you’re an old woman or man at 50. I have seen 30 years old looking like 50 years old and 60 years old looking like they are 30. Age is just a number. What matters is how you have lived your life; it may eventually end up showing on the surface.

Here are six things you can do, regardless of your age, to feel that you have made it in life and it’s never too late:

1. Play one game with a sense of mission: Life is a series of games. No one tells you that and you can’t play every game with a sense of mission, or you’ll burn out or jump off a cliff because of the expectations you put on yourself. But you can play that one game on hard, for yourself. When I say play a game on hard mode what I mean is that you have played this game at the highest level possible despite lots of rejections, failures, struggles and embarrassment. Hard games create discipline and prevent mental fragility. They take everything you’ve got, to keep playing. They test you. Hard games are played for years too. You don’t start and then quit in 90 days. No. Hard games are what you’ll tell your children or grandchildren (if you have any). They are there to teach you. Most don’t do it and they take the easy road and then wonder why they have regrets at 60.

2. Find true love instead of settling down:
Most of us don’t know what love is. We chase fake love because we want companionship or are chasing a good time. Being lonely feels like crap. Being alone also renders one to seek and search. Continue seeking because being with someone you don’t love feels worse — it just takes a few years to figure it out. I am a strong advocate for making it tough and trying out at least a couple of years together and another couple of years in separation, before you decide to get married. In the present scenario, the laws make it easy to get married and tougher to divorce. In my opinion, the laws to get married need to be made as tough as it is to divorce, if not tougher.

The signs of true love: first things first, it’s not affected by space and time, and secondly, it is mutual; true love is seldom one sided. You can’t get out of love, the way it is projected these days. It is for a lifetime. If I may share some more hallmarks: they would be, the ease with which one opens up and shares, effortlessly inspiring each other to grow, the honesty and vulnerability accompanied by extreme sensitivity for each other, a sense of mirroring; seeing oneself in the other (Atmabhava); being seen, heard, understood and honored, all at the same time; feeling of being at home with the other; being happy for no reason, mutual admiration of each other’s values, leaving a deep impression in each other’s hearts; someone with whom you can have endless conversations and laughter with a feeling of unspoken understanding; the acceptance and the resonance, it’s like a fire burning in your heart, a sense of magical burst of energy and of course, that magnetic attraction. It teaches you to trust in the divine timing and selflessness.

So, take your time, reflect and figure it out for yourself, before you commit and don’t just seek companionship or make a choice on account of fear of missing out on your biological clock. We need to understand in today’s context, in our society, it’s not a compulsion for everyone to get married and to have children. You need to wait for that someone with whom you can experience the upsides and downsides of life, albeit with love, affection, care, warmth, laughter and peace. Find true love; don’t just settle down, it’s never too late.

3. Be an entrepreneur:
Everyone should try to start a business. Yes, many of us will fail. But what we learn in the process is so damn powerful. Becoming an entrepreneur teaches you to understand incentives and motivations. You learn about the true chain of command. It makes you a risk taker; foster self-belief and helps you take ownership. No corporation is coming to save you if you make a bad decision. It’s just you against the business world. The odds are against you. And even if you end up with a job again, you’ll be 10x better for it. There’s always another job. There’s not always a better time to start a business and I am glad I started one.

4. “Design a life rather than live a life designed for you:
Most of the people don’t choose a life, they’re assigned one. Capitalists love it. Families love it too and condition you accordingly. However, it makes sense to design how you want the rest of your life to go, from inside-out and not outside-in. Think about it and do reflect. You may not get everything on your shopping list, but you’re much more likely to get stuff if you’re conscious of it. I designed my life to start a coaching practice that turned into a business; I read books, made plans and came up with a vision. When I started off in 2020, I had no idea where it would lead and now, here I’m here helping folks reframe and reshape their lives and writing blogs.

5. Join Yoga or a spiritual movement:
I joined the Bihar School of Yoga and got smitten. Once I was going through a phase when I was too unwell and the medical reports were not showing anything, I took to trying out Yoga, as a last resort to restore my health and there was no looking back there onwards. I joined their Bhakti Yoga, read books on the 6 Indian Philosophies and followed karma Yoga. It could be something else for you, though related to spirituality, starting off as an obsession, and eventually becoming a part of you. You can’t get enough of it. It takes over your mind, body, and soul. That’s what Yoga did for me. I reiterate, for you, it might be something else. Find out what it is so that you can truly live your life.

6. Get good at minimizing “self”:
It’s popular to romanticize over self-love, self-care, self-improvement, or selfies. If you go back to ancient wisdom — such as Patanjali from the east or stoicism from the west — you realize this obsession with self is the root of all evil. True success in life is about minimizing “self.” It’s about being humble and doing things for others, even if it does not benefit you. The great divide in society right now is caused by too much individualism and consumerism. Learn to minimize self.

Try doing these 6 things and watch it bring opportunities and wisdom that’ll help you bizarrely feel like you’ve made it, from inside out, where it really matters.